Sunday, July 12, 2020

Some Things I Keep Thinking About

  • AIDS and sex ed in the early 1990s
  • the score for Midsommar, the score for There Will Be Blood, Penderecki, and Wagner 
  • what loneliness is 
  • whether I should write a novel (again) and/or look for an agent (again) after several years' break from both 
  • ritual and totem 
  • desperation for fiefdom in situations of mortal stress (The Last of Us II
  • unread books in my home 
  • mail carriers 
  • the particular feeling of not wanting to absorb new art by a favorite artist, for fear of something: maybe disillusionment, maybe using up all the possible new art by that artist so there is no more, maybe upsetting the status of my expertise 
  • the personality traits of women in horsedom 
  • the personality traits of people in teadom 
  • life choices and trades and bargains and how they play out in extremely unlikely situations, like worldwide pandemics (cf the Fukishima disaster) 
  • what to do about my work at QMT 
  • [him] 
  • reducing movies and books until they are "boring" / reducing stories until they are 1) stranger comes to town 2) someone goes on a journey 3) someone falls in love 
  • the Mouth of Sauron and the nature of horror vs. torture porn
  • gore-bucket horror and splosh 
  • this essay and "giving primacy to the erotics of your own experience" 
  • whether life experiences during certain historical periods make it simply impossible for two people to see eye to eye 
  • hunger and its expiration 
  • whether I am going to be well-known 
  • whether I am as smart as I think I am 
  • whether my writing is doing what I think it's doing or I am in fact Brad Pitt in Twelve Monkeys 
  • [that] (just answer me) 
  • the role that the phone object plays in our lives, not the phone function 
  • what Ed Wood wanted 
  • money spent on smoothies 
  • my arms 
  • that fucking tattoo already, what the fuck 
  • how and when various famous people will die 
  • whether Twitter-famous people are always ultimately obnoxious (the honeymoon of a Twitter follow) 
  • threes 
  • whether other people think this much all the time 
  • whether people who don't are happier 

by this person

2 comments:

mr. bread said...

I am also thinking a lot about the horror/torture porn conundrum, and what it reveals about the people who like each (e.g. if they love Eli Roth movies, probably don't marry them)

Katharine Coldiron said...

Yeah. I honestly do not think that everyone who likes torture porn is not right in the head, but I'm always a bit worried about people who LOVE extremely depraved stuff.

In grad school one of my classmates, who was sort of hipster-goth (sounds awful but he was a cool dude) did a presentation on the Museum of Death. He told us there was a point where emotionally he had just...had enough, and he walked right out of there. That made me think he was good people. If you don't have a breaking point for dark shit, I'm worried about you.