SETH:
Hey, Kat!
ME:
Hi, Seth.
SETH:
So, I hear you make art.
ME:
Well, I try to. I'm a writer.
SETH:
That's terrific. And I hear you're female.
ME:
Sure am. I have a vagina and everything.
SETH:
Are you equipped with breasts?
ME:
For the moment. The big C could always hit.
SETH:
Ha ha, yeah, cancer's bad. But seriously, you do have boobs, right?
ME:
Yeah, I do. I also have a nose and ears. And a larynx. And a brain, and my hands, the latter two of which I use to make my art.
SETH:
But the boobs?
ME:
YES, for heaven's sake, I am the owner of boobs.
SETH:
Well, that's great. How about you show them to me?
ME:
Why would I do that? Don't you want to see what I've written, instead? That's what I'm trying to sell to the world.
SETH:
See, here's the thing about that. I don't really care about your writing. I don't care about your larynx or your nose, unless your nose is really ugly, in which case I can make fun of it.
ME:
I don't think my nose is particularly--
SETH:
What I care about is your boobs. Whether I've seen them or not. Whether I'll have the chance to see them again. Your writing? Your "art?" Ha! [laughs for a while] It doesn't really matter what kind of art you make. If you're female, the point is the boobs. That's all that matters about you.
ME:
But I think this book I've written is pretty good.
SETH:
Maybe it is and maybe it isn't. But if you put a female name on it, everyone's going to be wondering about your boobs. Everyone. Well, everyone male, which as far as I know is everyone.
ME:
Why?
SETH:
Because you're female. And if you're female, and you make art, the only thing that matters about you is your boobs.
ME:
But my body is irrelevant to the quality of the book I've written. And besides, it belongs to me.
SETH:
Sort of.
ME:
No, not sort of. My body belongs to me. If mine were the kind of art where I thought it was a good idea to show my boobs, then I'd do it for the art's purpose, not because my body is intended for objectification.
SETH:
[laughs for a while]
ME:
That wasn't funny.
SETH:
"Objectification"! What are you, a feminazi?
ME:
My point is that showing my boobs for others' pleasure is not the sole essential thing about me, or about my art, or even about my body. Boobs are incidental.
SETH:
[laughter dries up]
That wasn't funny. Boobs are EVERYTHING.
ME:
No, they aren't. No more than noses are everything.
SETH:
Are you going to show me your boobs, or what?
ME:
No. You're not entitled to see my boobs, whether I'm a writer or a movie star or a normal citizen.
SETH:
You know, I'll bet I can Google a picture of your boobs from ten years ago or something.
ME:
Even if you could, my boobs still wouldn't be the most important thing about me. But you're certainly making me feel like they are. Which is making me wonder why I'm trying to have this conversation at all, or why I bother to make art in the first place.
SETH:
Boobs.
FIN
12 comments:
I didn't see the Oscars (yet? Nah, probably won't get to it), but I've definitely found his kind of humor annoying for a long time. Whether it's a joke or not is not the point. The fact that it's ok to some people for women to be nothing but a joke is the point. And honestly, there's nothing more idiotic than some guy asking if you're a feminist in a condescending tone of voice because you have some self-respect.
I'm afraid of commenting for fear of being in the "argue with people you like" category; and because I didn't see the Oscars and only saw a youtube video of Jennifer Lawrence trip on the stairs which was universally reviewed as the most adorbs thing evah. I did hear there was a song about boobs that made fun of Kate Winslette, a couple of Jews in Hollywood jokes, and a great line about John Wilkes Booth "getting inside Lincoln's head" that made me chuckle.
And apparently the whole world hates Seth Macfarlane which doesn't make a lot of sense to me because I've seen Family Guy and American Dad and I could have predicted exactly what the Academy was going to get when they signed him up. Next year if they bring in Matt Stone and Trey Parker no one can be surprised by a repeat performance.
I've always assumed that Macfarlane's shtick was being a sexist/racist/homophobe for the express purpose of making uncomfortable jokes that highlight these issues. A musical number about Kate Winslette's rack seems like a poke at Hollywood, not a poke at the actresses. But maybe I'm missing the point (also, this may be the gap because I didn't see the song in question).
All of this boils down to: I've seen your art, I've not seen your boobs; I don't think the one has anything to do with the other. I respect you and your art, I leave it to your husband (and any other party you commission to enjoy them) to respect your boobs.
That's not a joke, I'm dead serious. And I don't really know anyone who disagrees with that position. There are many many women who make art and don't use their boobs in the production/marketing/valuation of that art.
I agree that there is still a gender gap in Hollywood and America in general. For example, I hope for the day when all the nominees for a non-acting award are women; or that when a young CEO of a tech company makes a horrible HR management policy it's not noteworthy or discussed in the context of her gender or past motherhood.
What baffles me here is that I think that's a pretty universal goal, isn't it? I'm not trying to sound dumb or naive here, but I just don't know that many real honest-to-god sexists anymore. Yeah, I've got an "uncle" who's a pig, but no one listens to him. No one would let him actually arbitrate the value of art or select candidates for a job.
In the age of the internet and screen names and youtube, can gender really be considered a marker of capability anymore?
I guess I'm just trying to say that I don't think you're wrong, I just thought your opinion was the prevailing opinion. There's nothing to argue here because you're so obviously right; and that makes me suspect that Seth's whole show was illuminating the obvious with inappropriate humor - which has been the trademark of vaudeville and variety shows for a century.
This is a ridiculously long comment to say a) you're right and b) I can't imagine anyone disagreeing with your position.
I agree that everyone should have known what they were getting when they signed up Seth MacFarlane. I didn't like him much before this moment; I like him less now. I wish they hadn't asked him to host.
The musical number was not solely about Kate Winslet's rack. It name-checked a number of the prominent actresses in Hollywood and listed the films in which they appeared topless. The refrain "We Saw Your Boobs" seems to indicate that we, the audience, have something over these actresses because we saw them topless, i.e. vulnerable? but the key point is that it reduces their work to a specific sexualized body part. Which is not what I want to be reduced to, and I don't believe it's what Naomi Watts or Charlize Theron wants to be reduced to, either.
There's an interesting argument to be made about bodies being little more than commodities in Hollywood, which my friend Max made on Facebook today. However, I don't think that actresses who appear topless in films sign themselves up for this kind of humiliating singling-out (some of the films mentioned are well over a decade old), and I am disgusted that ABC saw fit to let this go on the air. It made me, as the owner of breasts, feel like a second-class citizen, existent only for others' gazes, when I saw and heard it. And that feeling is what this post responds to.
The other side of that coin, of course, is that I am a white upper-middle-class heterosexual male. I do not and cannot know in any practical way what misogyny feels like.
My perception as a privileged white dude is that he makes jokes because misogyny is an easy target for uncomfortable laughs.
But I do not for one moment pretend that I have any idea what it feels like as an artist with boobs to see other artists seemingly reduced to the value of their boobs in a public way.
I can say that I find it ugly if that was the purpose, and it certainly sounds like it fell (pardon the pun) flat.
Thank you for writing this blog entry. Despite trying to be more sensitive to the blanket sexism that comes with being a male in a male privileged society, I periodically have moments like this one where I realize how little I truly understand the female experience. The “Ha ha, that was in bad taste, but whatever…pay him no mind” feeling I got from much of Seth’s jokes at the Oscars is exactly the kind of response I can do because I’m male and never had to experience anything close to this kind of attention and objectification. It always turns out to be even deeper and more prevalent than I thought. Seems like we still have lots of digging to do until we get to a societal foundation that starts us off right.
Matt said it far better and in far fewer words than I did. I second that completely.
I watched the Oscars. I really liked Seth McFarlane. I chuckled at the boob song, mostly because they cut to the audience and NO ONE WAS LAUGHING. I don't know if the song/montage was Seth's idea or someone else's but it clearly backfired. Maybe I have been living in a Man's World for too long, but I am at the point where I just roll my eyes and make a small dick joke.
Fair enough. A writer at Jezebel had a similar non-reaction, but I think it was for a different reason. :)
Ha! No, I totally relate to that. It's hate-fatigue everywhere. People just don't want to deal with it anymore. I look at it like this. Anyone with brains knows Seth McF is a giant tool. He make a crack at Clooney's average girlfriend age, while dating a toddler himself. It's his job in life to maintain his dickhead image now. Apparently the Academy has accepted this dumbing down, and rather than keep it a tasteful affair, decided to chase after the demographic that includes all the 30 year old boys who live in Mom's spare room.
Also, is the graphic at the top of that Jez. article the best thing ever???!!
I think the Academy is happy that the ceremony is being discussed three days later, instead of dismissed and forgotten. I've read the question "Well, would you rather a lifeless ceremony with a boring host? Everyone complains about that, too." No, I don't. Never have. Bring on the boredom.
Learn the format of screenwriting if you wish to use it in satire, moron.
Carl
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